I believe in women and I believe in mothers. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in men and it doesn’t mean I’m a feminist. I’m not actually. But I do have a lot of faith in the strength of women. Perhaps, because I was raised by my grandmother, while my own mother worked two jobs to take care of us. Perhaps, because since becoming a mother, I have surprised myself regarding just what I’m capable of. This post is about self-reliance and the power of you.
It often takes dark times to bring out the brightest light inside us. When something bad takes you by surprise things often go one of two ways: you can retreat into yourself and wait for time to work its magic, or you can… well you can keep getting up every morning and be even better than you were the day before. I’m not saying either is better or worse and neither is easy. What I’ve found, however, is that being a mum gives you no option, but to choose the latter.
Why am I sharing this? A few reasons:
- I see women doing incredible things every day, while raising a family, yet they have little to no self-esteem.
- I read blogs about women over doing it by trying to “have it all” and I’m here to tell you that’s BS. You are capable of anything!
- And most importantly, I’ve seen too many amazing women comparing themselves to unrealistic lives and people on Instagram. It’s doing the exact opposite of all the motivational hashtags and actually making so many women feel anxious and less than they truly are.
So here’s my non-Instragramy truth:
I live thousands of miles away from my family. I work two jobs and I raise a little boy. I try as hard as I can to be a good mum. I do crafts, I take him to the beach or park every day; I make healthy meals and on occasion, some unhealthy ones. I play, sing, read and dance with him and sometimes, when it all gets too much, I sit and do diddly squat while he watches TV. I walk over seven kilometres a day, because I don’t have a car and my commute in the mornings takes an hour and a half. On top of all that I make it a priority to find time to go to the gym twice a week… and I write this blog.
So when life threw me a curve ball recently, there was a moment of panic. I thought, oh god, how will I cope? The moment didn’t last long. I almost laughed. Of course I would cope. Not only would I find a way to cope through anything for the sake of my child, I was already coping every day as it was. More than that, I LOVE LIFE. I am never going to let anything make me feel like life isn’t an incredible gift. I can never wake up and not be grateful for the tiny human I get to raise. And well, isn’t that marvellous?
So my point is this:
Whatever your situation, whether you’re rich, poor, happily married, a single mum or completely winging it, never underestimate the power of YOU. Never stop trying to achieve new goals, never stop learning; never stop exploring. Never stop!
As of today City Mum is going to change tack a little. There will be no more Instagram reflections of a life that isn’t real in order to fit with what’s expected and generate likes. My life is awesome. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s mine.
So here’s to all the women who are struggling with something. I’m betting that’s each and every one of us. Here’s to trying to be the strongest, smartest, HAPPIEST, version of yourself.
Keep hustling. Keep smiling.
Here are some bloopers that didn’t make the Instagram first time round, but will feature more heavily from now on…